Snowflake Mountain: 10 Best Quotes From Season 1
Snowflake Mountain is and isn’t what it seems. The reality series gathers a group of overparented 20-somethings and takes them off the grid under the tutelage of bushcraft/survival experts Matt Tate and Joel Graves. Dependant on each other for sanity and success, the contestants are stripped of their safety nets.
Ultimately successful in its goal of instilling some grit and self-sufficiency in its Gen Z cast, the show doesn’t so much make fun of the participants but forces them to examine their own immaturity. While the path they traverse is genuinely heartwarming, it does come with a plethora of statements that ring with the eye-rolling absurdity that got them labeled as snowflakes in the first place.
Below The Belt
“I Should Have Worn Pants, Bro. I’m Getting My D— Bit.”
Split up with the boys on a mission to track down their new campmate, Sunny immediately felt the repercussions of wearing compression pants instead of something more protective. While everyone else was in sweats/windpants, Sunny’s sheer bottoms provided little more than a gift-wrapped package for hungry mosquitos.
Funny and unfiltered, Sunny’s admission of regret drew laughs from Matt and Joel and playful criticism from his team. Though he would successfully brave the bugs and bad directions, his eloquently conveyed itchiness narrated a moment that’s painfully hard to forget.
Dragging The Lake
“Funerals Are More Fun Than Last Chance Lake.”
Solomon Patterson’s unwillingness to change his attitude and abrasiveness defined his tenure. Constantly combative, his early duplicity landed him (alongside Deandra Joseph) in an overnight stay at Last Chance Lake. Arriving to two primitive shelters, a campfire, and survival instructor Cat Bigney, Solomon was isolated and given a chance to reflect.
Though Solomon did commiserate his way through a more traditional camp setting, instead of using it for growth as Deandra did, he sang injustice and soured himself to the point of going home an episode later. Far from a harrowing experience, Solomon’s preference for funerals speaks flippantly on just how spoiled he is.
Gobsmacked by Cat
“Out Comes This Beautiful Pochahontas Titty Goddess.”
Primitive skills expert/anthropologist Cat Bigney’s arrival was an event. With her hair in a bubble ponytail and turquoise arrowheads hanging from her ears/around her neck, Cat stunned the cast with her style and credentials before having them strip a deer carcass. No one was more enchanted than Deandra.
While Solomon playfully alluded to her as “Ariana Grande carrying a knife,” Deandra’s unintentionally derogatory “compliment” speaks more of someone whose full image of Native Americans comes from a Disney cartoon. Cat’s presence in preservation and education (let alone the show) is invaluable. Hopefully, Deandre will use the weight of her words as an opportunity to educate herself.
A Disappointing BM
“It Was Not A Real Bathroom. It Was A Tent With A Paint Bucket In It. And I S— In It. And I’ll Never Forget That.”
Finishing up the first day of their two-day trek up Snowflake Mountain, the remaining castmates settled into base camp right around sundown. Dropping their loads and setting up their tents, the highlight of the aforementioned camp was a private bathroom. Though a step up from the brambles, it wasn’t quite what anyone, especially Devon Smith, envisioned.
Tummy grumbles were an ongoing issue on the mountainous ascent. Admitting that Matt and Joel used the promise of a real bathroom to push her pace, Devon christened the tented paint bucket and let her campmates know about her “luxurious” experience. When nature calls, even a bucket can be a luxury.
Baby Steps
“I’m Growing. I’m Sh–ting Outside In A Box Made Of Wood. What Do You Want From Me?”
There aren’t many moments of emotional growth for Solomon over his four episodes. His attitude is uncrackable and instead of listening to what anyone has to say, he gets defensive, mocking everything from looks to cooking to the purpose of the show in its entirety.
What Solomon is unable to fight is where he goes to the bathroom. With the camp sharing a perfectly adequate wooden outhouse, he had no choice but to acquiesce to defecating into a hole cut into a wooden stump. From digging a latrine to getting down and dirty in the privy, Solomon’s only true exodus from his comfort zone came in the form of feces.
A Scenic Release
“Look At That View. When Will You Ever S— In Such A Beautiful Place?”
The fear. The silence. The sweat. It was obvious to viewers that Randy Wentworth had to use the bathroom while climbing the show’s titular mountain and that he wasn’t keen on doing it with an audience. Trying to grit his way through his cramps, his struggles weren’t long a secret, and Sunny gave him just the motivation he needed to let go.
Having already dropped trow in front of his castmates after digging a latrine, Sunny’s words of familiarity comforted Randy into finding a nook and relieving himself. He even got a two-ply moment with his crush Devon, who fetched him some much-needed toilet paper. While there’s never a pleasant time to go amongst a crowd, it’s unlikely that Randy will ever have the opportunity to go in a more scenic setting.
A Clean Queen
“If Y’all Think I’m Going To Be Wiping My Vagina With Some Leaf, It’s Not Happening.”
Deandra’s early presence was a far cry from the strong-willed/supportive teammate that she’d evolve to be. With a suitcase full of makeup and “toys,” she packed to be pampered. Arriving to a social experiment in survivalism, her fears of a “p—- rash” weren’t exactly unwarranted.
A clear step up from a singular leaf, the Snowflake Estate provided a communal outhouse lush with toilet paper and clandestine garbage cans for their sewage. Uncomfortable but not quite Naked and Afraid, Deandra’s primitive paper concerns echoed everyone’s early anxieties.
Remixed Anatomy
“My Heart Is In My A–hole. My A–hole’s In My Mouth.”
Liam Brown is the heart of Snowflake Mountain, so much so that he really should have his own Netflix reality series spinoff show. Funny, self-deprecating, and more than a little sassy, Liam’s honesty and encouragements constantly lift up his castmates and provide the most entertaining testimonials for viewers. Freshly announced as one of the final three contestants, his description goes unparalleled.
Drawing laughter and embraces from Sunny and Deandra, Liam is able to diffuse a tense situation that could have turned friends against each other. In hilarious fashion, his nervous energy proved to his co-finalists that they’re all feeling the same thing and that what really matters is that they’ve all grown together.
No Vibrations
“My Clit Doesn’t Work In The Wilderness.”
Separated from her friends, family, and familiarities, the importance of self-love never left the back of Deandra’s mind. From packing a vibrator in her essentials bag to admitting to feeling some electricity from the branch she was straddling while climbing a tree, sexual release was always a part of her headspace.
Talking to Liam after both of their roommates spent the night at Last Chance Lake, Deandra admitted to trying to fill the loneliness with a little “me time.” Unable to climax or find the right sensual space, her diagnosis of clitoral dysfunction by way of the wilderness is both absurd and an indicator that regardless of how sexual one is, atmosphere means everything.
Thicc Arachnid
“I Was Like A Spider Up There. I Mean, I Was Probably Like A Big Spider, A Plus-Sized Spider, But I Did It For My Plus-Sized Crew.”
One of Matt and Joel’s most impactful team/confidence-building exercises, Liam scaled the tree presented to him with a speed and confidence that surprised even himself. Twerking his way up to the treetop and on the ground in celebration, Liam’s conquering of his insecurities not only motivated his castmates but unlocked a new persona entirely.
Liam’s energy was always uplifting, but now it was contagious. From fire-starting to tent-building, he would go out of his way to help everyone overcome their obstacles and hesitations. Once a grandma’s boy, the newly monikered “Plus-Sized Spider-Man” captured the hearts of his crew and viewers alike with his cheeky descriptions and the genuine growth that followed.
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